


Heart that is broken, beats still unceasing

by BloodyBaroness



Series: Da'nehn Lavellan [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Daddy Issues, Gen, Heartbreak, Homosexuality, Mention of Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:29:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7488075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyBaroness/pseuds/BloodyBaroness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's important where he comes from, innit?</p><p>This is not beta'd. Yes, my works have titles from <em>Chant of light</em>, I like the vibe. </p><p>This may be slightly canon divergent, as I was very emotional writing this and just didn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart that is broken, beats still unceasing

"Da’len?" Warm voice reached him from behind the aravel.  
"Yes mamae?" He was sitting on the ground by the wagon, studying the freshly cut feathers he was preparing for arrows.

Da’nehn always thought his mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. Knee length golden locks of her hair reminded him of waterfall illuminated by setting sun and azure eyes were always glittering, cautious. She came closer to him, absent-mindedly braiding her hair into a messy braid. She did that whenever she was nervous or worried. A single white flower with vividly red middle was decorating her left ear. 

"I am very proud of you da’len. The keeper said you hadn’t even twitched during the ritual and you are well worth of carrying Elgar’nan’s marking." The woman approached him, lightly touching his arm.  
"Ma serannas mamae, but it’s nothing."  
She laughed.  
"Yes, you won’t let me forget why you picked Elgar’nan. The fire in you my boy."

His mother sat on a tree stump near him, letting the braid fall on her lap.  
"Now that you are a man da’len, you have to think about your duties to the clan."  
He froze, pretending to be completely focused on arrow heads he just pulled out of a pouch.  
"Hahren said I’m a good hunter. I’m doing my job well enough."  
"You know what I’m talking about. Yana is a beautiful woman now."

Yana. They were born an hour apart and the Keeper said they were meant to be. She was beautiful indeed with her long silky black hair and almost white eyes. The contrast with the deep mahogany of her skin made her look almost out of this world. He would have to be blind not to see it.

"She is, mother." Shemlen word was used on purpose, to hurt. Young elf regretted it immediately. "I cannot be with a woman and you well know it."  
"We are dying out da’len. You are a grown man…" she was studying her toes carefully. "Your duty to the clan is to father a child."

The silence between them was thick. Far cry of a halla giving birth to a fawn only added up to the dread of the moment.

"Mamae…" He finally mustered to whisper.  
"You don’t have to live with her." She added quickly and looked at him.  
"I cannot bed a woman! It’s impossible! Physically!" Da'nehn stood up and looked around. His golden locks covered half of his face but he did nothing about it. Fortunately halla’s cries were loud enough so he didn't gather any audience.  
"There are…" his mother said slowly "ways… herbs that..."  
Young elf took a step back shaking his head.  
"Mana! Mana mamae…"  
"Think about the clan!" yelled the woman. His mother rarely raised her voice.

They had to make her come to him, talk him out of his "unusual ways" as keeper liked to say. Mythal only knows how much they pushed before she finally gave up and came here.

"Yes, I can make a child" he hissed "and hate him afterwards." His teeth were clenched so much it pained.  
The woman looked to the side and whispered.  
"Your father did not hate you da’len…"  
A single tear dropped from her chin onto her blue dress, making a black spot.  
"He. Broke. My. Leg." words like arrows flew from his mouth, hitting her straight in the heart. "Because I broke a toy."  
"Fila…"  
"Don’t call me that!" the boy slowly approached his mother, kneeled on the ground and grabbed her hands, wet from tears. 

"Mamae…" he whispered, kissing his mother’s hand. "I can’t change who I am."  
"I know Da’nehn." she placed a kiss on his forehead. "Ir abelas…"  
"I am not the only one mamae. Yaen…"  
"Yaen is getting married when we reach the temple." His mother whispered to his hair. Da'nehn froze. 

The promise given under old oak tree played before his tearing up eyes.  
"Emma lath…" whispered between shaky first kisses. Both of them were too shy to look each other in the eyes. But they looked, and whispered, and kissed more. Smell of hot skin in a tiny tent. Cries of pleasure muffled with shaky hands. "Ar lath ma. We will find a way…"

Da'nehn realised he was sobbing when his mother hugged him closer. She stroked his hair just like when he was little and scared that Fen’harel would take him, just like his father had said. 

"I will speak with the keeper." Her voice was warm again, soothing. "But she will pester you later."  
"I know…"  
They heard rumble by the hallas. It seemed the fawn was healthy and whole clan gathered to celebrate.  
"We have dealings with other clans, or humans. It's your only chance to find happiness da'len. Take the first opportunity."

"Mamae?"  
"Hmmm?"  
"Ma serannas."

**Author's Note:**

> This is Da'nehn: http://da-nehn.tumblr.com/


End file.
